On Wednesday morning at 3:19am, My mother-in law (who lives arm length near) called 911 as a baby was just born, the baby was too early & way too small. So I sat in my bed with this tiny baby, my husband & I trying to keep her warm & stimulate her to take breaths until the EMT’s came. We live in a rural place, & it took them about an hour to get here. They loaded this baby & I onto a stretcher & into the ambulance, to which my Mother-in law following behind she stated we sat there an additional 20 minutes before leaving. The EMT’s had never had a premature baby before, luckily I had a planned at home birth that we did ourselves the year prior & was able to cut the umbilical cord for them, I also suggested we place oxygen before leaving.

About another hour later we arrived at Arnot Hospital to where they took the baby right down to the NICU, & I was admitted & answered questions. I stayed up all night, waiting for them to tell me when I could go see her. I remember not being able to sleep, but also remembering that when they had carried me out on the stretcher being loaded up into the ambulance as I looked back at my husband & 3 year old, that even if nothing out of this was okay, it would be okay.

We never picked out a girls name, but funny enough a couple days prior to all of this I had a dream I had a little girl named Eden Agape. So that’s what I wrote down for her paperwork. It wasn’t until after 2pm I could finally go see her, I walked to the NICU, & in a little incubator was a tiny 2.2lb 13inch long baby girl. Eden was black & purple bruised (from a fast birth), intubated on a breathing ventilator, had a tube inserted from her chest through her ribs to help inflate her lungs as she had gone 2 1/2 hours without proper oxygen her lungs had deflated.

I sat in a rocking chair near her feeling as though everything was okay, even though I could physically see it wasn’t. Her nurse was so sweet, & her Dr gently discussed with me how Eden was very sick, & everything they did for her. I was discharged at 4pm, exhausted I decided to go back home at 5pm to get some rest & return the next day to see Eden. After being home for a few hours, I got a call from Eden’s Dr. that Golisano Children’s Hospital from Rochester NY was coming to pick up Eden, as the ventilator they had at their hospital wasn’t strong enough for what Eden needed. She told me “Eden may not make it before Rochester gets to her “( 3 hour trip ) & asked my thoughts on it. I didn’t know how to respond, again it wasn’t okay, but it also was no matter what happened. So I simply just said “ I guess just let me know when she gets there.“ So my husband & I prayed that it would be okay even if it’s not, & we chose to go to sleep.

At 3am I had received a call that Eden had made it & was stable, we were super grateful. I stayed home the next 48 hours as this was all happening during the Covid-19 shutdown. Coming to & from wasn’t always allowed & I didn’t think being able to go stay with Eden & coming back home was an option, to which I was correct & it wasn’t. Not knowing how long I’d be gone. I spent that 48 hours packing, cuddling, talking, & celebrating my third child’s 1st birthday. Saying goodbye to my husband & our 3,2,& 1 year old was very difficult, but I had a mission that everything was okay & now let’s get this baby home.